As I write this, I’m neck-deep in the water. I’m trying to get the affairs of my old life in order before I leave and hammer out the details of my retirement and transition out of practicing law. The process is mammoth in scale and overwhelming. There is so much work to do, not very much time to do it, and I’m doing all of it alone.
I’m not going to delude myself into thinking this is easy. This is a terrifying process. I’m throwing away the life I’ve built for myself over the past decade. It would be one thing if this was beyond my control – if I were fired from my job or lost my home to a tornado. But I’m choosing to walk away from this life – voluntarily. This home has been a source of shelter, of comfort, of safety, and of reliability. I’m trading it all for the hope of a better life and a whole lot of uncertainty.
So as I load up yet another truckload of possessions to bring over to the local thrift shop, now is as good a time as any to take stock of what I’m leaving behind that I will probably miss.
I will miss my home.
For all the effort that goes into home ownership, it is not to be denied that this house has been a good home to me. This house is quiet, private, and low-maintenance. Because I own it, I am able to do virtually anything I want to it. I didn’t need a landlord’s permission to build a haunted house in my basement.
This house has also been an ideal environment to raise Remy. This is perhaps the scariest part about my future. Not only do I have to find new home(s) and job(s), but I have to find ones that are accommodating to the fact that I’m a “single dad” to a puppy. It’s not easy finding a place to rent that allows dogs. It’s even harder to find work that will provide short hours, flexible hours, or let Remy tag along with me. I’m also going to miss the fenced-in yard and being able to let the dog outside without much thought.
For at least as long as I remain the road, I’m also going to miss having a soft bed, a private bathroom, a full kitchen, easy access to water and electricity, and Wi-Fi. Nor will I have access to a work shop, my tools and supplies, and I’ll be unable to do any haunt work while I’m driving.
I will miss my friends.
I’ve built a life here and created many valuable relationships and friendships over the past 10 years. Among them are members of my new haunt family. Even though I’ve concluded my time with Terror on the Fox, I’ve continued to work with and collaborate with my closest fellow haunters on other projects.
Although it is possible that I will return to Green Bay, an honest assessment of my future plans and goals suggests that to be unlikely. I need to grow and develop as a person. I don’t think I can grow much if I return here to this… comfort zone… this bubble.