After almost three months of work, I’m nearing completion of the first draft of my book chronicling my experiences over the past three years. I’ve finished sorting through all of my old blog entries and I will be restoring the content shortly.
I knew that my stream of consciousness – especially since August 2017 – has been a little schizophrenic. But damn, it has been an interesting experience to put three years’ worth of entries together and watch the progression unfold. It’s rather embarrassing to see how many times I’ve flip-flopped on certain questions and dilemmas, or how often I reused the same words and phrases over and over again. At least the book (I hope) will succeed in filtering out some of the garbage.
For a time, I have been pretty adamant about abandoning everything and becoming a leather tramp. Re-reading this blog has reminded me of the reasons I’ve been craving such a radical path forward and reinforced my beliefs. Freedom and independence and mobility are my strongest values, and I want to become a leather tramp more than anything. I do not want to be dissuaded by its difficulties or challenges.
But I also recognize that becoming a leather necessarily means sacrificing all of my other passions. Twice, I have been presented with an opportunity to embark on this lifestyle again and twice I’ve chosen to remain here with my friends and my haunt life. For the first time, I’m feeling this way in the middle of winter.
So now my thoughts are turning away from a sacrifice-ridden radical lifestyle and turning toward some sort of compromise solution. I was heartened a few minutes ago when I read an old post of mine from last October, when I stated that there’s more to being a haunter than working haunted house attractions.
I have no answers yet. I need to get the monkey of writing this book off my back before I can refocus my attention on my future plans. But I’m constantly reminding myself to keep my values and passions in mind as I weigh my options. If I do that, I feel optimistic that I can come up with a solution that I can live with.